Last night was one of those "everything feels great" nights! I bound my wrist in pashasana for the first time...rolled up my mat under my feet which seemed to make a big difference. My feet don't touch the ground on their own so stability helped me get deeper into the twist since I was less worried about balancing.
BHUJAPIDASANA - I got my head down AND BACK UP! Something was different...my knees weren't super high on my shoulders, they were lower toward my elbows...which made it easier to manipulate the distribution of weight and let me come back up. There's no shortcut in this one, I need more bandha, but it was an a-ha moment for me. I can't wait to play with it some more.
Then I got a mean calf cramp heading into Laghu...I didn't drink enough water yesterday. Ugh, I was so full of energy, but even stretching didn't loosen the thing so I decided to be gentle and close. I had fully planned to do all of intermediate after primary, that's how guns-a-blazing I was feeling!
Later at home it turned into a foot cramp. Today, H20 and bananas...I'm excited for practice tonight, I'd like to think I "banked" the energy I was feeling last night for later use, LOL.
Winter and cold. My husband and I play this silly game where we wait until we can't stand it anymore before we turn on the heat each year. It is a competition as to who can take the cold longer, we employ fleece sweaters, blankets, magic bags, whatever helps...the person who turns on the heat loses and this year he lost and I WON! Last night he turned on the heat. I had figured we could make it straight through to Christmas but I am very happy to be in a warm house again.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Thursday, December 3, 2009
What does it all mean?
Lots of inspiring stuff in blogland these days - food for thought! It is making me think about what I'm doing with my practice and how I got here.
It's so interesting how each yogi's experience differs based on teacher/shala/geography.
I had done yoga on and off for about 3 years, mostly power-type yoga. I had a great first teacher who then left town. So I went to whatever random classes I could find, even some Bikram, yup.
Then I wandered into an Ashtanga studio and was promptly humbled by the most physically difficult 70 minutes of my life. Full Primary. There was no stopping in Led either, no time to say uncle, no mysore attention to put you out of your misery and halt you...you do the whole thing. Well, assuming you could keep up. There were binds and twists and lotuses and all kinds of things I'd never seen! The friendly shapes and sizes on all sides of me were wrapping and binding and kurmasana-ing with ease.....I was thrilled and excited and couldn't wait to get started. The teacher, J, was tough/kind/stern/dry and pretty much exactly what I needed.
I spent about 9 months fumbling my way through primary. I did not (!) master it before moving on to intermediate. My teacher believes that the milder backbends are beneficial and worth practicing to balance the folds of primary so she lets many of her students do up to Ustrasana after they learn Primary.
Based on the experiences of others that I read about, in a stricter shala, I am pretty sure I wouldn't be doing intermediate at all. I would still be working on my strength, transitions and my nemesis...bhujapidasana! I don't actually hate it, I truly love it...each time I practice I run into Mr. Bhujapidasana and it's like, "are we really going to do this again? all right I guess we are."
I was quickly given the rest of intermediate, in maybe two or three more chunks over a couple months. Despite not being able to...jump back, or do a good clean bhuja, or a hands-free setu bandhasana, or a full-on wristgrab in supta k. Or the plenty of other cleanup things I could work on. Chakrasana even (which I avoid because of prior neck complications, and probably more than a little fear).
I now know that's not the traditional method really, but until I started reading blogs...I had no idea that that was different from anyone else's experience - LOL!
I trust my teacher and I love my practice. I aim to have enough physical challenge to distract my mind and keep it from wandering - I'm not nearly advanced enough to turn it off at will, I rely heavily on the physical challenge.
At the moment I can't imagine wanting more poses, as intermediate is more than enough for me to chew on!
Like anyone, I love the idea of someday fitting my leg comfortably behind my head. Despite the impatience or frustration I might sometimes feel, then talk myself out of...I am beyond happy with my 70-90 minutes of escaping the world. :-)
It's so interesting how each yogi's experience differs based on teacher/shala/geography.
I had done yoga on and off for about 3 years, mostly power-type yoga. I had a great first teacher who then left town. So I went to whatever random classes I could find, even some Bikram, yup.
Then I wandered into an Ashtanga studio and was promptly humbled by the most physically difficult 70 minutes of my life. Full Primary. There was no stopping in Led either, no time to say uncle, no mysore attention to put you out of your misery and halt you...you do the whole thing. Well, assuming you could keep up. There were binds and twists and lotuses and all kinds of things I'd never seen! The friendly shapes and sizes on all sides of me were wrapping and binding and kurmasana-ing with ease.....I was thrilled and excited and couldn't wait to get started. The teacher, J, was tough/kind/stern/dry and pretty much exactly what I needed.
I spent about 9 months fumbling my way through primary. I did not (!) master it before moving on to intermediate. My teacher believes that the milder backbends are beneficial and worth practicing to balance the folds of primary so she lets many of her students do up to Ustrasana after they learn Primary.
Based on the experiences of others that I read about, in a stricter shala, I am pretty sure I wouldn't be doing intermediate at all. I would still be working on my strength, transitions and my nemesis...bhujapidasana! I don't actually hate it, I truly love it...each time I practice I run into Mr. Bhujapidasana and it's like, "are we really going to do this again? all right I guess we are."
I was quickly given the rest of intermediate, in maybe two or three more chunks over a couple months. Despite not being able to...jump back, or do a good clean bhuja, or a hands-free setu bandhasana, or a full-on wristgrab in supta k. Or the plenty of other cleanup things I could work on. Chakrasana even (which I avoid because of prior neck complications, and probably more than a little fear).
I now know that's not the traditional method really, but until I started reading blogs...I had no idea that that was different from anyone else's experience - LOL!
I trust my teacher and I love my practice. I aim to have enough physical challenge to distract my mind and keep it from wandering - I'm not nearly advanced enough to turn it off at will, I rely heavily on the physical challenge.
At the moment I can't imagine wanting more poses, as intermediate is more than enough for me to chew on!
Like anyone, I love the idea of someday fitting my leg comfortably behind my head. Despite the impatience or frustration I might sometimes feel, then talk myself out of...I am beyond happy with my 70-90 minutes of escaping the world. :-)
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Good morning
It was open studio this morning. I felt like a shorter practice so I did primary to navasana...added bhuja and supta k (I could do this because there was only one other person there, who wouldn't have noticed!) and then closed.
Yesterday I wrapped up my team's performance reviews - so relieved!! It amazes me how open my team members are to constructive discussion as long as you can tailor that discussion to their interests and goals (assuming you know them, hopefully). It's a really interesting and rewarding process to work out a goal with someone, develop a plan for it, give them tasks to test them and opportunities to demonstrate that they've met it.
I'm super task-oriented by nature so the focus on people is challenging for me. I've been through a couple of cycles of it now and I'm just starting to get comfortable now.
Well yoga is done for the day so my evening is free! Guess I'll cook dinner and watch Glee :-)
Yesterday I wrapped up my team's performance reviews - so relieved!! It amazes me how open my team members are to constructive discussion as long as you can tailor that discussion to their interests and goals (assuming you know them, hopefully). It's a really interesting and rewarding process to work out a goal with someone, develop a plan for it, give them tasks to test them and opportunities to demonstrate that they've met it.
I'm super task-oriented by nature so the focus on people is challenging for me. I've been through a couple of cycles of it now and I'm just starting to get comfortable now.
Well yoga is done for the day so my evening is free! Guess I'll cook dinner and watch Glee :-)
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Thumbs of Justice – Half Intermediate – Shoulder is GOOD!
In joyous holiday news, based on today’s practice, my shoulder is now FINE :-).
Saturday was a rest day. I got a massage from a dude who nearly made me scream/faint with his brutal thumbs. Sounds unpleasant but it was exactly what I needed. For the first time in maybe my entire life my traps are relaxed. Like completely relaxed. And boy did I earn it.
At the end we did the Flying Elbow Drop.
I lie on my side, bring the top knee to hip level and he takes the pointiness of his elbow and applies firm direct pressure into my glute/hip muscles. You know when you feel the muscles slide over themselves? Globie called this the “gloop-gloop” the other day, which is totally correct! After the initial near-fainting discomfort, I felt such a deep release it was like my leg actually detached from my hip. When I walked home my hips were all loosey-goosey and it felt amazing. Then today I had the snuggest/foldedest ardha baddha padmottanasana ever.
The shoulder pain has brought another level of awareness into my twists, and I think the new focus has actually improved them…oddly enough? I tell my brain to start the twist at the pubic bone (Bandha! Sthira!). This twist-from-the-pubic-bone thing came out of Darby’s workshop - forgot to mention it in my coverage. Now, twisting from the pubic bone may not actually be possible (I have no idea) but for me, at least bringing more of the twist LOWER takes a lot of pressure off of my shoulder socket and forces me not to overuse shoulder mobility in my binds. Of course, that’s what we’re supposed to do…but bad habits form. And this is one I am getting the hell out of. Even if it slows me down, I’m twisting properly, from now on.
I also get a zingy nerve pain in the right side of my back when I fold, been happening forever; I sometimes forget it’s weird. I am now determined to fill my entire chest with breath, expanding every goddamn rib and every vertebra, relieving whatever compression it is that is zinging through my little spine. Hard to tell if it is actually working yet but at least it's making me feel in control…in the past, I would feel the zing and back off, but I’m starting to realize that the zing has been happening for 5 years and kinda needs to be addressed. It is something that my practice should be helping – yoga chikitsa.
Shock of the day; I did my regular Kapo, that’s how good my shoulder was. I thought I would be weeks away from that. Did it up, was great!
I didn’t expect to talk so much about injuries and pain today, sorry y'all…I’m actually SOOOOO happy and relieved about my shoulder that I got excited to use my practice to address my ongoing back zinginess. I feel really positive about it....:)
Saturday was a rest day. I got a massage from a dude who nearly made me scream/faint with his brutal thumbs. Sounds unpleasant but it was exactly what I needed. For the first time in maybe my entire life my traps are relaxed. Like completely relaxed. And boy did I earn it.
At the end we did the Flying Elbow Drop.
I lie on my side, bring the top knee to hip level and he takes the pointiness of his elbow and applies firm direct pressure into my glute/hip muscles. You know when you feel the muscles slide over themselves? Globie called this the “gloop-gloop” the other day, which is totally correct! After the initial near-fainting discomfort, I felt such a deep release it was like my leg actually detached from my hip. When I walked home my hips were all loosey-goosey and it felt amazing. Then today I had the snuggest/foldedest ardha baddha padmottanasana ever.
The shoulder pain has brought another level of awareness into my twists, and I think the new focus has actually improved them…oddly enough? I tell my brain to start the twist at the pubic bone (Bandha! Sthira!). This twist-from-the-pubic-bone thing came out of Darby’s workshop - forgot to mention it in my coverage. Now, twisting from the pubic bone may not actually be possible (I have no idea) but for me, at least bringing more of the twist LOWER takes a lot of pressure off of my shoulder socket and forces me not to overuse shoulder mobility in my binds. Of course, that’s what we’re supposed to do…but bad habits form. And this is one I am getting the hell out of. Even if it slows me down, I’m twisting properly, from now on.
I also get a zingy nerve pain in the right side of my back when I fold, been happening forever; I sometimes forget it’s weird. I am now determined to fill my entire chest with breath, expanding every goddamn rib and every vertebra, relieving whatever compression it is that is zinging through my little spine. Hard to tell if it is actually working yet but at least it's making me feel in control…in the past, I would feel the zing and back off, but I’m starting to realize that the zing has been happening for 5 years and kinda needs to be addressed. It is something that my practice should be helping – yoga chikitsa.
Shock of the day; I did my regular Kapo, that’s how good my shoulder was. I thought I would be weeks away from that. Did it up, was great!
I didn’t expect to talk so much about injuries and pain today, sorry y'all…I’m actually SOOOOO happy and relieved about my shoulder that I got excited to use my practice to address my ongoing back zinginess. I feel really positive about it....:)
Friday, November 27, 2009
Primary Friday - TGIF
Primary again today...I feel great. Still not rocking my normal setu bandhasana. I have never been able to do the full expression anyway, I usually support it with hands over head UD-style, so it doesn't bother me much to step back to hands under hips for a bit.
Today was the half-or-full class, so we could stop at Navasana or do the rest. Stoppers have the option to stay and watch if they are interested to see the rest. Everyone stayed! I expected a few people to close and roll up but everyone stayed to watch and we all closed together. It was nice. My practice doesn't feel very spectator-worthy at the moment but I was happy to do the motions if it helps someone else. I remember a year ago sneaking peaks at people lowering in Bhuja or binding in Supta K while fumbling through myself and I definitely could have used a guiltless show - even watching someone else struggling but breathing and doing it anyway would have helped me I think.
Primary is lovely. I love it and always will. But when do I get my 2nd practice back?
When the neckshoulder is twangy-twangy, what does this mean for 2nd? First, dropping my head back in Laghu and Kapo just ain't happening. So goodbye for now to my favoritest and need-to-work-on-est backbends. And what does it mean for LBH? I can modify and do the heel and knee in elbow crook. But I wantttttttt to keep working on the real deal. But I shouldn't. So I won't. A heavy leg attached to a newly tighter hip does not belong behind my twangy-twangy neckshoulder. Le sigh.
I will do 2nd on Sunday at group practice and modify best I can. I hope we can veer off instead of doing full primary first. Or maybe I will do primary plus back half of 2nd.
I'm drinking a large Tim Horton's coffee, feeling very rambly.
Also, this made me laugh. J was telling people that there is a moonday on Tuesday - she has morning mysore and evening Led on tuesdays...and she is the only teacher so it is a "big day" with two popular classes. So we were talking about it being a "bad day for a moon day" and then it was a "bad moon" and then it was a "bad moon risin"...hahaha!
Today was the half-or-full class, so we could stop at Navasana or do the rest. Stoppers have the option to stay and watch if they are interested to see the rest. Everyone stayed! I expected a few people to close and roll up but everyone stayed to watch and we all closed together. It was nice. My practice doesn't feel very spectator-worthy at the moment but I was happy to do the motions if it helps someone else. I remember a year ago sneaking peaks at people lowering in Bhuja or binding in Supta K while fumbling through myself and I definitely could have used a guiltless show - even watching someone else struggling but breathing and doing it anyway would have helped me I think.
Primary is lovely. I love it and always will. But when do I get my 2nd practice back?
When the neckshoulder is twangy-twangy, what does this mean for 2nd? First, dropping my head back in Laghu and Kapo just ain't happening. So goodbye for now to my favoritest and need-to-work-on-est backbends. And what does it mean for LBH? I can modify and do the heel and knee in elbow crook. But I wantttttttt to keep working on the real deal. But I shouldn't. So I won't. A heavy leg attached to a newly tighter hip does not belong behind my twangy-twangy neckshoulder. Le sigh.
I will do 2nd on Sunday at group practice and modify best I can. I hope we can veer off instead of doing full primary first. Or maybe I will do primary plus back half of 2nd.
I'm drinking a large Tim Horton's coffee, feeling very rambly.
Also, this made me laugh. J was telling people that there is a moonday on Tuesday - she has morning mysore and evening Led on tuesdays...and she is the only teacher so it is a "big day" with two popular classes. So we were talking about it being a "bad day for a moon day" and then it was a "bad moon" and then it was a "bad moon risin"...hahaha!
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Terrific!
Today I did Primary, skipping nothing, and only deviating from my usual practice at setu bandhasana. I modified it - too risky quite yet but it will be back soon.
There was minimal discomfort so I'm really hopeful that in another week I will be back to normal-ish!
I was sooooooo happy to do sirsasana today for the first time in two weeks! I love that pose, why do I love it so much? I learned to stand on my head when I was a kid. My grandpa helped me learn and it took me a whole summer. He would drag one of those long cushions off of an outdoor lawnchair into the middle of the yard for me to practice on...and he would hold my feet for me, so I think I love it because it reminds me of him.
I was tempted to go into 2nd after but I didn't want to push my luck with the backbending. I did my first UD since I hurt my shoulder/neck and it went fine. I was really careful not to extend the neck, basically just letting it hang. I don't think I am ready to relax the head back in Laghu or Kapo.
Work is utterly insane. My days are booked up with meetings and calls all frickin day...I am madly scribbling in a notebook at all times trying to keep track of everything spinning around me. I am really looking forward to this yearend process winding up and getting back to normal.
Happy Thanksgiving y'all. I'm in Canada but my office follows US holidays...so I had today off, and I am very very thankful :-)
There was minimal discomfort so I'm really hopeful that in another week I will be back to normal-ish!
I was sooooooo happy to do sirsasana today for the first time in two weeks! I love that pose, why do I love it so much? I learned to stand on my head when I was a kid. My grandpa helped me learn and it took me a whole summer. He would drag one of those long cushions off of an outdoor lawnchair into the middle of the yard for me to practice on...and he would hold my feet for me, so I think I love it because it reminds me of him.
I was tempted to go into 2nd after but I didn't want to push my luck with the backbending. I did my first UD since I hurt my shoulder/neck and it went fine. I was really careful not to extend the neck, basically just letting it hang. I don't think I am ready to relax the head back in Laghu or Kapo.
Work is utterly insane. My days are booked up with meetings and calls all frickin day...I am madly scribbling in a notebook at all times trying to keep track of everything spinning around me. I am really looking forward to this yearend process winding up and getting back to normal.
Happy Thanksgiving y'all. I'm in Canada but my office follows US holidays...so I had today off, and I am very very thankful :-)
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Easing back
The shoulder/neck has improved. Primary and 1/2 intermediate today. It was fine!
"Cautious" practices aren't necessarily exciting. But cautious seems like the smartest approach so that's what I'm going with. I modify anything that irritates it, and it has quickly shown me what I've grown attached to "doing well" in my practice...and also that on some level I worry about looking lazy. Which is silly. There are no lazy people doing ashtanga!
Keeping my jumping to chaturanga as light as I can in Surya's. I can't float, of course, but trying to distribute the impact as evenly as possible not to jar my shoulder. In the standing poses, there has been a lot of toe dristi instead of looking up. I can manage all the marichyasanas but haven't been going for wrist in any of them. I made it my mission to create space and not "overuse" my shoulder mobility to get me there.
I booked a massage and was so lucky to have an extremely skilled RMT. She had worked in physio and she did things I've never experienced before in a massage, including coaching me to breathe certain ways at certain pressure points. It was great!
There was absolutely no going back in Kapotasana today. I turned it into another Ustrasana, haha!
No Sarvangasana, no Sirsasana, and only the teensiest utplutihi. They'll be back before long I hope!
"Cautious" practices aren't necessarily exciting. But cautious seems like the smartest approach so that's what I'm going with. I modify anything that irritates it, and it has quickly shown me what I've grown attached to "doing well" in my practice...and also that on some level I worry about looking lazy. Which is silly. There are no lazy people doing ashtanga!
Keeping my jumping to chaturanga as light as I can in Surya's. I can't float, of course, but trying to distribute the impact as evenly as possible not to jar my shoulder. In the standing poses, there has been a lot of toe dristi instead of looking up. I can manage all the marichyasanas but haven't been going for wrist in any of them. I made it my mission to create space and not "overuse" my shoulder mobility to get me there.
I booked a massage and was so lucky to have an extremely skilled RMT. She had worked in physio and she did things I've never experienced before in a massage, including coaching me to breathe certain ways at certain pressure points. It was great!
There was absolutely no going back in Kapotasana today. I turned it into another Ustrasana, haha!
No Sarvangasana, no Sirsasana, and only the teensiest utplutihi. They'll be back before long I hope!
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